Are There Any Dwarf Nuns in Rome?

Stephen F. Dennstedt

I’m sorry. But this one really made me laugh out loud (LOL as the kids would say). I’ve told you all, many times on this blog, that I’ve never aged beyond ten years old emotionally (physically is an entirely different story). Potty humour can still catch me off guard and make me laugh. I am ten years old and holding.

This joke works on many different levels for me: first, both my father and youngest brother were dwarfs and second I have often been a severe critic of organised religion (Spirituality works for me but once Man gets his grimy paws on it he corrupts it). I always tell people my family grew up in a circus (and metaphorically it’s a true statement).

So this joke checks all the boxes: it’s totally inappropriate, irreverent, crude and totally funny. FUNNY. Read it at your peril—you’ve been warned. But I needed a good laugh and this one made me laugh. It’s not politically correct but I’m so sick of PC and thin-skinned people I could choke. Better to choke on humour than hypocrisy. So if you’re overly sensitive and get offended at virtually EVERYTHING give it a pass. Yep, I’ve had a Scotch (or two).

“The seven dwarves went to the Vatican and when the Pope answered the door, Dopey stepped forward: ‘Your Excellency,’ he said. “I wonder if you could tell me if there are any dwarf nuns in Rome?’

“’No Dopey, there aren’t,’ the Pope replied.

“Behind Dopey, the six dwarves started to titter.

“’Well, are there any dwarf nuns in Italy?’

“’No, none in Italy,’ the Pope answered a little more sternly.

“A few of the dwarves now began to laugh more openly.

“’Well, are there any dwarf nuns in Europe?’

“’Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe.’

“By this point, all the dwarves were laughing aloud and rolling around on the ground.

“’Pope,’ Dopey demanded. ‘Are there any dwarf nuns in the whole world?’

“’No Dopey,’ the Pope snapped. ‘There are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.’

Whereupon the six dwarves started jumping up and down chanting, ‘Dopey fucked a penguin! Dopey fucked a penguin!’”

– Mark Z. Danielewski

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